Hi my name is Sam and I'm a control freak.


I didn't used to be. Like I very literally was fine with anything and then something in me clicked and was like "OH GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN" and it all went down hill from there. I think it was when I was fifteen or so. But everyone seems to at least know I am.

Like I was discussing with a friend her little brother driving her car. And I informed her that no one has ever driven my car except this one time I let a good friend drive it. You know what she said to me? She laughed at me and goes "You freaked out the whole time didn't you?" Why yes. Yes I did. I screamed from Maryland all the way to Pennsylvania. After the 20 minute freak out he did yell at me to keep it internal though.



On another note I miss visiting the city. I'd take myself but that would probably not go over well. And fuck the tool bag I went with last time. But I seriously just feel super at peace there. Huge buildings and so many people should make me feel claustrophobic but it didn't in the least. I just really enjoy walking everywhere and all the people who see straight through you. If I wasn't such a chicken shit of driving there I'd have someone go with me but I seriously don't like city traffic. Last time I got stuck there I white knuckled the whole time.


Idk why I'm typing at 4am. I just really can't sleep.