The amount of tools walking around this campus is astronomical. With their yellow and red Famous Stars and Strips shirts, yellow and red shorts, and big orange fake tans. Even Vinny and Pauly D would be asking them if they participated daily in Fist Pump, Push Up, Chap stick. Even their tattoo choices are a piss poor attempt at looking tougher than they really are.

The females at least seem less "lookit me lookit me". It's a very lazy atmosphere of sweat pants and t-shirts in girl world, a look I can get behind . With this new hour long gap between classes I've found a small bench in a back courtyard.
Ew dear god I was just passed by a doppelganger of the kid I lost my vcard to. Bald and facial hair is not a good look...for anyone.

People seem to match with their own age groups here. I don't much fit in with 20's and drunk. I did when I was younger but now it's the "settled and laid back" for me. Out of being here 30 minutes I'm still at zero people spoken to. This 2 hour gap due to test day is killer. Can't I just opt not to go to class? I did in high school.

Eves dropping on older people's convos is fascinating. They just drop their life story right there on the table. Not quite as bad as old men though. They meet someone, share their family's info, breezing past pleasantries and right into bowel movements. The other day I had to hear about why a guy took magazines and it's correlation to his state of relaxation. How do people even think that's okay?!


This could be my future career in detective work. Pretty sure they don't even think I'm listening. A skill carefully honed by my many years of a nosy childhood. My mother quickly learned not to trust that I wasn't somewhere listening. This has also sealed the deal on how easy my place essay will be. A few pages of sitting in a tattoo shop watching people? No problemo!

This dude keeps staring like I want to talk. Any other time I would, but today is strictly observation. I really could play up this deaf thing. My hearing is getting back to where it was (which is impeccable in case that was in question). But I got so use to not responding to odd sounds (since everything sounded odd and underwater), it's just easier not to.

Class change has to be the worst part about this spot. The giggly...I'm not even sure what they are, but shit they're annoying. It gets insanely noisy when the cattle move between corrals. The badass women in leather jackets and boots are my obvs favs though. Esp the ones who's face is uncharacteristic of said badassery. Esp when she whipped out a romance novel. This couple walking their pitbull was probably my fav of the day however. Wtf were they even doing with him on a school campus?

If I hear one more frat boy call our ghetto girl hoedown I will push them into a support beam. Also this old man passing that smelled like Boyfriend is creeping me out. Why would a 60 year old biker wear AXE? Thank god, the gremlins went back to class, only 45 more minutes until my endeavor is done. Which is great because my ass has completely fallen asleep, if you're reading this far, you probably have too. This place is quite filled with vets, and we aren't talking animal doctors. Smokers square seems to be their hang out to talk. I like listening to their stories. They aren't war stories or talks of grandeur like old men tell. They all seem to just talk about why they chose the branch they chose.

Pretty sure my legs on bench tactic didn't work to advert potential sitters. They are now talking about their tattoos, this is a subject I can get behind. Mostly because I'm more decorated than most humans. My god I wish Attila The Hun would move, my discomfort from sitting this way is unbearable.

I feel slightly out of place since I wasn't there and I'm surrounded by people discussing it. I'm not material for that profession. I'm so not an order taker (well, sometimes <.<) I'm also still not use to northerners.

OMG DAYCAREKIDS, I need the babies. I could so have one and bring her to daycare here. I'd go visit her between classes. This is why I need a baby. Free daycare, visit when I'm on break from class, I'd be poor as all get out but famuhleeeee! Jesus I just sounded like a high school girl.

While the vets are talking this creepy old lady is eves dropping. She doesn't even look normal like me, she just looks stalkery. Oh how I wish I didn't have another class. It's such a nice day and I'm wasting away on a bench. Now stalker lady is discussing military with them and staring dude is back, who is apparently also ex military. JESUS WHAT AM I THE ONLY ONE ON CAMPUS?! But staring guy reminds me of Sam from Rookie Blue, he's not that creepy looking because of it.

They're discussing benefits and school being paid for, so unfair. I want grants and free school. They all make me feel so young! I'm not even but my god. Oooh internships now. Stare-y is a psych major as well.
They're whining that their credits weren't transferred. Pft. I paid and they still didn't transfer boo hoo. Apparently Stare-y is a huge tool, I'm loving the drama. It's also being discussed that he was kicked out because of attitude, well he was a bit pretentious. Maybe I didn't mind because I have an adoration for egos (well when it comes to s/o). S/O has a huge ego, which is my favorite.

Finally! It's almost class time in approx. 5-10 minutes you'll be saved from my incessant rambling.

I could be a more rambly version of gossip girl in all fairness. I should include more images though. Faces would have to be blurred of course. But finally time to put the notebook together since this is 7 or so written pages. And to go to English class since I haven't written enough today or anything.

Yesterday I got to go see Lion King with mi madre, which brought back a ton of my childhood. Not that I haven't seen it since it was in theaters or I was a kid but I hadn't had quite the same feeling as I had back then. All I could think of was "god I want a kid" during the whole time watching the cute little girls come in all dressed up. I could do without a loud obnoxious boy, a cute little boy yes, though I haven't seen many of those around lately.

I have far too much to do today and no damn motivation. 7 page case study, essay revision, and some studying for a test tomorrow and here I am laying in bed looking at amusing images, no bueno. Today has been a very uneasy day, if that makes any sense. Lots of remembering my ex out of nowhere, and not the nice cuddly kind that you remember and it's sad you broke up. No no. We're talking the douchebag you couldn't get far enough away from even if you sling shoted his ass to Pluto (which is still a planet idgaf). I don't know why or where it came from. There I was in the shower trying to get excessive amounts of hairspray out and then it just crept in. It was this awful sickening feeling and started to wrap itself around my current relationship. I have no idea why. My s/o is nothing like my ex, not in any way shape and or form so why it tried to bother me today after 5 years I'll never know.

I've never been normal, god how cliche that sounds. I wasn't a normal kid, I wasn't a normal teen. I can't say I'm a normal adult, hell I can't even claim to be an adult.
The other day in personalities class he had us look at an inkblot and all I could think of was "That's either a puppy or a rib cage...". Later on Dr.B told us that if you saw an animal, according to that it was thought that you were immature, and if you saw severed body parts then you were thought to be a bit disturbed. Where exactly does that put me?

I am insanely dependent. Not in an "Oh god if you leave I'll kill myself" sort of way, more so in a way that I like having a partner in crime. I like having someone to confide in that's my best friend who keeps my secrets and has the same sense of humor I do. Whether that be relationship, friendship, or both is irrelevant. I hate making choices, I hate feeling second best. I don't know where I got this insane need to always be number 1. The best kisser you've ever had, the best friend you've ever known, the person you've loved the most. There's just something in me that always feels insanely let down when I don't know I'm the best, I'm number one and theres no one better. Of course it's not realistic, it's never going to be realistic. But god the feeling is awful when I know it's not true.

I know I'm not my s/o's favorite. I know I'm not the person they have loved more than anything in their life. I know I'm not my best friend's number 1 friend. And that kills. I don't know how that started. I don't know what prompted it or why. Then again I don't know what really prompted anything I do, it's just one of those things that exist.

Being as late as it is in my time, and having class tomorrow this won't be long.
But I figured I'd get something down, gotta have a beginning eventually. Hopefully I keep up with this, this time around.