Today I am having a very paranoid day. Out of nowhere I was walking through Walmart and then BAM hit out of nowhere in the pet aisle. I'm thinking it's just a residual thing from worrying about the upcoming holidays and not being use to expressing how I felt without someone being upset about that (And actually glad I said I was upset instead of choking it up).

So, instead of being calm and collected about this I'm in a tad bit of "Omg what if I fucked up" mode. While this is most likely not the case (I'm sure I'll find out later), I can't shake that feeling. Chances are it's just hormonal and I'm being ridiculous, as per usual since I am a huge worrier. But I don't want to fuck this up again, this relationship means a lot to me, as does fixing everything that happened before.

I think I worry more this time because I'm still not fully with the whole "Not leaving again staying for good" thing. My brain is still in worry mode trying to be guarded and shit because it's a tad bit afraid.

If that makes any sense at all.